the ‘f’ word

What’s this new craze?
Crossing the nation?
Has all this heat
Gone to some female’s heads?
Why are they so intent?
To get away?
Or thousands of them
Hitting one particular website
Which offers support
And advice on how
To survive the next month
Often sane women
Are booking flights abroad
Lured by Swiss Tourist Board ads
Of bare-chested hunks tossing hay
Offering more delights
Than a simple massage!
Others advertise Heart to heart
For a lover in their local paper
Yet more soccer Suffragettes
Get dragged away by police
Their crime? taking the plug
Off the new HD TV
World cup widows
You may be feeling
Completely rejected, angry even
Being ignored is damaging
For any relationship
(I should know)
Avoid arguments
By making use
Of your ‘you’ time
Your happiness comes first
Enjoy yourself in the great outdoors
Spending time
With other like-minded people (Failing that, eat chocolate
And sit and watch
On the spare TV
All those films on videos/DVD
That you never had time to watch!)

Jan McGeachie 7th June 2006